So I’m meandering down the cereal aisle trying to decide between Honeynut Cheerios and Raisin Bran Crunch when suddenly I realize I’ve wet my pants.
“Shit!” I say, louder than I should have. My kids laugh and start yelling, “Mommy wet her pants! Mommy wet her pants!” The man across from me shoots me a look of disgust. The woman with the toddler smiles sympathetically.
But wait – I didn’t wet my pants! My water just broke and here comes my baby!
“OH MY GOD!” I scream, “MY BABY’S COMING!!!” I pull down my pants and catch my baby. The disgusted looking man turns every shade of green as the woman with the toddler runs over to help me. Instantly, the whole store is in a frenzy. People are panicking but I don’t care. My baby has just entered the world and I’m in Heaven!
Within minutes the paramedics arrive. “All I want is a ride home,” I tell them. Surprisingly, they don’t insist that I go to the hospital, and I return home to show my husband our new daughter. By that night I’ve had four calls from the local TV stations, and an offer of $10,000 from the National Enquirer to tell my story!
OK, so this didn’t really happen. But it could have. Women give birth like this all the time. I know, because I read the National Enquirer (but only at the check-out stand!). Actually, “precipitous labors,” as they are sometimes called, are often reported in more “legitimate” publications, as well. Many women give birth with little or no warning. I’ve enclosed some of their stories below.
By the way, my last child could have easily been a supermarket birth. I gave birth in my bathroom before I had the chance to tell my husband I was in labor. Unfortunately, the National Enquirer did not offer me $10,000 for my story.
(Note from Laura: A few weeks after I posted this article, someone saw this in the pregnancy/birth forum on about.com)
“A couple of years ago, in a grocery store in my town this poor woman went into labor in the produce section and had her baby in only 10 minutes, right there next to the watermelons! She had her older kids with her but her husband was in line and didn’t want to give up his spot to be with his wife!!! I always thought, how rude and insensitive. But the store gave them a gift certificate!”