How can I even begin to describe my home birth experience? Of course it was the comfort of husband and home, freedom from harmful medical intervention, joyful, painless labour and the sheer ecstasy of birthing my child into my own hands. But it was so much more than that. It was the most profound spiritual connection I have ever made. It was reaching into the deepest part of my being and finding my soul power, it was choosing faith over fear, it was truly listening to an inner voice that said, “Follow the light!” I followed and I found a miracle. I found my infinite, loving source and I found my precious Luca. She was the light that I followed. I believe that Luca chose this wonderful birth experience and guided me in my decision. Our babies are Divine and infinitely intelligent. I pray that we can help them maintain their Divine connection, and I thank Luca for helping me find mine.
The month leading up to Luca’s birth was like riding some crazy emotional rollercoaster. I struggled daily with anxiety, tension, impatience, excitement, boredom and every other conceivable emotion. My small frame was straining with the weight of my baby and to top it all off was my decision, at 36 weeks, to have an unassisted home birth. So much work to do in such a short time, it was like an intensive personal development course. Admittedly, the journey was long and hard but the destination was worth every tedious moment.
My body prepared itself gently and gradually for the birth. I had frequent Braxton Hicks for the last six or eight weeks (of course I was convinced I’d go early!). I was two days overdue when I lost my mucous plug and I woke the following morning with my water leaking. No major gushes or labour symptoms, just a constant leak. I retired at 9pm that evening feeling rather blase about the birth. Maybe I’d surrendered a little. I started getting some contractions as I dozed off to sleep. They were regular and pleasurable and I drifted in and out of dreams for a few hours. My husband joined me in bed at midnight. I didn’t tell him about the contractions because I was enjoying the solitude and excitement.
At 1am I got out of bed to set up for the birth. I was still enjoying the contractions and didn’t feel any sense of urgency. At 2.15am I phoned my sister to inform her that the baby MIGHT be on its way. I told her not to rush as I “wasn’t really in labour yet.” I ran a bath and relaxed in the warm water and within a couple of minutes WHAMMO!, four whoppers that had me hanging out of the tub and panting like crazy. I felt afraid at that moment because I was alone and the bath tub was small and uncomfortable. I clambered out and hobbled down the stairs, calling out to Clinton on the way down. He sleeps like a log and didn’t hear a thing so, husband or no husband, I was going downstairs to have this baby! Another very intense contraction overcame me. I lunged onto my knees and leaned over the sofa. There was no plastic down, no sheets and no pause between contractions, it was just me and my lovely white bath towel. My mind and body had separated. My body was overcome by the force of nature and my mind was thinking, “What about the carpet?”!
I was experiencing peak intensity, a wild and awesome moment, when my sister arrived. It was 2.35am and she padded around gingerly while I moaned into the seat of the lounge. I told her to wake Clinton and felt a moment of fear as another contraction overcame me. I wondered how long this intensity would last. I was afraid that this was just the beginning of my labour. Clinton and Kelly came downstairs and washed their hands. I sensed that they were unprepared for the situation but their fearless support was immediate. Clinton sat by me and stroked my hair and rubbed my shoulders. By this time, though, I was quite unresponsive. I was desperately thirsty and managed to ask for water but there was no way I was getting that drink. I instinctively put my hands between my legs, knowing that the baby was on its way. “Here it is Clinton. Here comes the baby.” My sister fumbled around with the video camera, but couldn’t turn it on. Clinton had one hand between my legs and the other on the camera. “Quick Clinton, here it comes! Catch the baby!”